Lets change the approach.

In the eyes of most parents and coaches, competing just for the love of the game is not reason enough to play sports.

How long has it been since you asked your child after a game that you could not attend, “Did you have fun?” or “What did you learn?”

All too often it is instead “Did you win?” or “How did you do?”, which translates to “How many points did you score?”, “How many goals did you stop?”, “Did you make all your free throws?”, and “How much playing time did you get?”

Today’s young athletes are viewed as an inherent measurement of a coach’s, school’s or athletic program’s success. Schools, coaches, parents – and to some extent even the athletes – tend to only “treasure what they can measure.”

Some experts suggest that an overwhelming majority of parents would rather have their child sit on the bench of a winning team than play on a losing team. But when the young athletes of these same parents are interviewed, their views tend to be overwhelmingly the opposite; most of these young athletes would rather play on a losing team than sit on the bench of a winning team!

This discord between the roles of coaches and parents is creating negative effects in youth athletes and in the culture of youth sport as a whole.